Ok, so some of you have heard by now, but others we haven't talked to in a while, so let me catch you up.
What promised to be another "normal" day (that is, me sitting around trying to deal with my chronic pain, the kids saying 'I'm bored, I'm bored' and Anna counting the seconds until school starts) - turned out to be the emotional equivalent of a punch in the gut.
The phone rang at about 8:30am. It was our land lord. Not in itself any real surprise, they do call us now and then just to check in, but that's not what they wanted today. "We hate to do this", the voice on the line said, "but we need you to move out by August first, we need the house back." Then the floor folded up and the world turned inside out.
We'd come to find out later that they are having "family issues" and that someone who is "like a son" would be moving in. Also, they are mortgaging the property and using the money to help him with his problems. But, out of the kindness of their hearts (though only time will tell if that's true), they said we could use July's rent to help us get into a new place.
This is where I got mad, something I am not prone to do. And not just mad, fuming, furious, punching the wall and throwing things mad. What about me? What about my problems? What about my finances? What about my kids who really are my kids and not just "like my kids"?
The problem is, we don't really have a legal leg to stand on. Our lease agreement is month to month and in New Mexico they only need to give tenants 30 days notice. It's their house, they can do what they want with it. Now, granted, they didn't give it to us in writing, and if we wanted to push it, we could. But, then they would just push back that we didn't pay our rent in July (we didn't get that in writing either). Either way, if we went before a judge, they wouldn't put seven kids and a handicapped father out on the street, unless we had a place to go, but we really don't want to go that far. We want to do the right thing, we want to do the better thing, we want to do the Christ-like thing.
So, we're looking. We're scrimping, saving, scrounging. We're calling everyone we can call, we're checking every lead we can check. We're going to every agency we can find, calling every charitable organization we have a number for. So far we haven't found anything. Nothing. Bupkiss. Nothing to rent, nothing to buy, nothing. Not that there's not anything out here, but they're either too small (1-2 bedrooms) or just barely big enough (3 bedrooms) but ridiculously expensive (a single wide trailer, squeezed into a lot that doesn't even leave room to park your car for $1500 a month). Really, I'm not kidding. If we could buy, though, there's a ton of places, but we would need a down payment, which is a lot more than July's rent.
What should we do now? I don't know. When I think about it, my head hurts more than it already does, I see red and I want to break something. Right now everything is up in the air. My disability insurance may be ending, which means I'll need to go to Social Security, and who knows how long that will take. Anna is working at the church, but she barely makes enough to cover our current rent. We keep looking for options, we keep talking about the options we have. Do we try super hard to stay in this area? Is New Mexico really worth going through a lot of hard work to find a place to live? Or do we give up and go back to the midwest? At what point do we conclude we've done all we can to stay here and then go back? I'm just so tired and in pain and angry and frustrated and I don't know what else.
We want to do the right thing. Not just for us, but for them. We understand that our land-lords are trying to do what they believe is right for their family. Maybe that's an inconvenience for our family, but we trust that if we trust and pray and do the Christ-like thing, then our needs will be met. Maybe that's naive, but my faith won't let me do otherwise.
So, if anyone out there has any suggestions, a place to rent in New Mexico, or a large sum of money they can loan us, then let me know.
