#NotOneMore

I am devoting all my blogs to angry rants in response to yet another child being killed by yet another gun in yet another school.

I love my kids. I want to keep them safe. I know that in a perfect world I could, but it's not a perfect world. I know that even in ideal situations there are not guarantees that my kids will be safe. But in the last 18 months there have been no less than 74 shootings in schools or on college campuses in the united states. 74 since 26 children were gunned down at a grade school in New Jersey.

And yet we go on and on and on in protecting the rights of gun owners over the lives of our own children.

This has to stop.

I do not want my kids and grand kids to live in a world where they see that the Second Amendment is more important than them. This has become so far out of hand that it literally sickens me.

If I had my way all guns would be piled up and burned. Send out the national guard with tanks, go door to door, and just take them.

But it's not up to me.

This is the real world, and like Pandora's box, the demons have been let out. We can't put them back.

But we can make them cause less heartache.

The second amendment has been used and abused. It's out of date and honestly doesn't apply anymore. There are other rights in the Bill of Rights that are far more regulated than the second. Freedom of speech for example, no one balks that there are times and places you can't say certain things, and even when you can you need a permit or a license. But background checks to buy a gun? Blasphemy!

How stupid is that?

No more dead kids. #NotOneMore

I encourage you to write every legislator you can, local, state, and federal, and demand to know what they are doing to put an end to gun violence in schools. And don't take any political rant as an answer. More guns aren't the answer. Armed teachers aren't the answer. Education is not the answer. Only real painful consequences to gun owners whose guns are used to kill. And real, painful effort into making sure only the 'right' people get guns (background checks, registration, licensing, taxing, testing - all the same things we do to own a car).

I am. Starting with the school board.

crazy

I keep starting posts and then something else happens and I never finish them.

Most of you that would read this know everything that is going on anyway via facebook and just life, so do I really need to share news here?

I feel that the 'newsletter' format for this blog is out of date, since news is now shared in 'flashes' over on facebook. That's also where all the pictures and everything are.

I think it's time to take this blog back to it's original purpose: an online journal.

There was a time that this was my only blog. Actually, in the beginning, it wasn't even called a 'blog', although that's what I was doing. I wrote my first post in what would later become this blog in 1994 or there abouts. The Internet was still young, digital cameras were basically non-existent, at least from a consumer perspective, had been married for only 6 years but already had 3 children.

Those very early attempts at an online diary have been lost in the mists of time. Some are probably still floating around in AOL's servers, some were in the 'personal web space' offered by our hometown service provider back in the day, others vanished with Earthlink.

In 2004 I made this blog official. At one point I had imported some older posts from other sources, but over the course of time, things got dropped, deleted, lost... But I'm sitting here looking at the first post that still exists - from May 2004, and am amazed that that was 8 years ago. Older than some of my children.

It amazes me even more how much of my blog was written after I became unable to work. Has it really been that many years? And years? So much of that time is just lost to me. I have no memory of some of the events I've written about. I can't blame myself for that, I know it's caused by whatever is going on in my brain, but still I feel guilty - it's like my kids' lives are passing me by and I'm missing all of it.

As I write this, my youngest son is in his 3rd week of first grade, my youngest child is in her second week of preschool, my second grandchild is a week old, my eldest child just moved, with my first grandchild, and is currently out of touch (which really freaks me out!) My eldest son is finishing his second year of college, he, my second eldest, and my wife will all graduate this May.

And what have I done? What have I accomplished in all this time? What have I produced? An odd bit of writing here, some photoshopped thingies there, nothing substantial. Nothing I can plant a flag in and claim as mine. When I first became unable to work, I vowed that I would DO something, that I would PRODUCE something. A book. A work of art. Something. So far I haven't done that. I'm not sure I know how.

But now I'm just having a pity party. My point was, going forward, this blog will be less a news letter and more of a journal or diary about thoughts and feelings. Still lots of pictures. Still some fun. Just less repetition of what you're already seeing on facebook.

Cool?

April stuff

Howdy.

So we're into April. School is in the last few weeks of craziness, in spite of a few snow flakes here and there at our altitude Spring has fully sprung. Unfortunately Spring only lasts a few days and then it gets hot.

While we can, we've been enjoying the weather. Putting the screens away and getting out to the park, enjoying the spring air before the Summer heat dries it out too much.

This is the best time to live in the high desert. Yes, spring brings crazy pollen as the air comes down the mountains, but fortunately whatever it is that makes sick only lasts a few days. Juniper, I think, but who knows. Allegra takes care of anything else that might get to me.

Kids are all doing super great. We've had some rough patches here and there with grades, but for the most part they are totally rocking. Mr. L still has his struggles, but he is who he is and he is awesome.

All the college people are doing well, if stressed. It's a lot of pressure and it makes it hard on all of us, but we do what we have to do.

Anything new? Not that I can think of. Mostly everyone is tired. Constantly running under stress just wears us all down, but we're really looking forward to this summer. I have no idea what we're going to do, but we all just want to rest.

And as for me, well, nothing new. we've explored all the medical possibilities and now we just manage symptoms. It sucks, but it is what it is. I have good days and bad days. Today is pretty bad so I am trying to distract myself by writing some. Which leads to rambling, which is pretty much what I'm doing now...

And with that I'll close here before I ramble too much. Have a happy!

It's March

Hi everyone! If you are one of those people finding my blog from searching for "head shaving" (though I have no idea why this blog shows up) greetings! This post has nothing to do with head shaving. This is just me rambling for a while to my friends and family, sharing news and stories of our busy life. Nothing else to see here, move along.

If you're still reading, HI! How are you? I know I don't talk much, but if you know me at all you know it has always been easier for the words to come out of my fingers than my mouth. That doesn't mean I don't care, I care very much, I'm just not good at the moving-the-mouth-to-say-the-words-thing. So if you are reading this, then you are loved. I'm glad you're here.

So what can I share? Spring break starts when the kids get of out school today. Everyone is on the same break this year so the whole crew will be home. We're probably going to loaf around for the weekend and start some major MAJOR spring cleaning next week. The main thing I want to do is the shed. There's a wasps nest in there, so we need to clean it out, seal it up, and make sure the stuff in there is protected from the elements. If bugs can get in, so can mice, lizards, birds, and spiders. (**shudder**)

And yes, spring is here. It's probably the best time to live in the desert. Warm but not hot, no bugs, the air is clean and calm... We just throw open the door and windows and breathe. It's really great for those of us without allergies. And thanks to Allegra, it's not so bad for those of us who do.

Winter has been rough. Boring, mostly.We haven't had a lot of weather, but is has been cold. Not painfully so, but just cold enough to keep everyone cooped up. I think we're all anxious to get outside and enjoy some sun and fresh air. And even though no one really wants to do a lot of work on their break, I think we'd all like to get all the winter dirt and and gloom out of the house.

There's something recharging about spring. Even though my allergies generally hammer me in the spring, the still, dry desert air and warm sun are life giving. Even a trip to walmart is a treat with the windows down and the radio turned up.

But I'm rambling. What news can I share? Honestly, I've been too dizzy to notice. Everyone just kind of comes and goes and I sit and watch them go by. I don't worry much about grades because everyone is in the top of their class. I worry more about them being bored and causing trouble. Fortunately there's not much of that either.

Still don't have any pictures of video worth sharing. Mr. D had a jazz performance a while back, but I couln't get good shots in the dark cafe. I hope I can catch some audio off the video I tried to take. I will dust off the cameras once we're outside more. Get back to taking semi-interesting pictures of kids and nature and stuff and things.

As for the health front for me, well, not much to tell. Good days and bad. Lately it's been a lot of bad. Just the general pain. Not quite to the point of screaming migraine that puts me to bed for three days, but so very close. I can be awake and function, but just barely. Typing is about all I can handle, and even that is kind of a chore. And with the pain there's the insomnia, and with no sleep comes this fog that I kind of float through during the day. But Miss R is very well behaved and very patient with her not-moving-so-fast daddy. I don't know how I would handle it if she was high strung.

So that's all for now. I'll shoot out any pictures I take. I post a lot of old ones on my Tumblr. You probably are my friend on facebook, so those all cross post to my timeline and you'll see them there.

Laters!

A Ramble.

 ...I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish...  - President John F. Kennedy, May 25, 1961, Special Message to the Congress on Urgent National Needs. Courtesy: John F. Kennedy Library and Museum

Apollo 11 landing on the moon was a huge undertaking. In the beginning scientists were practically saying it was impossible. It took seemingly endless discussions for them to even figure the design for the spacecraft. A whole new kind of rocket had to be built just to get the astronauts away from the Earth.


And they failed. The mission designated as Apollo was was meant to be an orbital test of the spacecraft design. As the astronauts sat in the capsule awaiting launch, somewhere in the miles of electric wires a spark jumped. In the oxygen rich atmosphere of the capsule a fire started and within seconds consumed the capsule, and the three brave men inside.

Those men, Virgil "Gus" Ivan Grissom, Lieutenant Colonel, USAF, Edward Higgins White, II, Lieutenant Colonel, USAF and, Roger Bruce Chaffee, Lieutenant Commander, USN, knew the risks. They knew what they were doing when they signed up. And they knew that failure was going to happen. They didn't let fear get in the way of moving past failure to eventual success. Their sacrifice led to a redesign on the craft and to the eventual safe landing and return of the Apollo 11 mission, just two short years later.


I am telling this story for my kids, and for other kids, and for those of you out there who might be struggling to find a direction in life. The lesson to learn from this can be stated this way:


 Don't let fear of failure keep you from doing the impossible. Any dream worth achieving is worth failure in trying to get there. 


And you will fail, probably multiple times, before you get there. That's no reason to quit. 


Dream your dreams, then go make them the truth.


Success will take sacrifice. But in the end, sacrifice and failure will get you where you need to go. You cannot have success without both failure and sacrifice.


----


If you dream is to write, then write. Write your heart out. Write every day. Write until your fingers bleed. Then, when you have something you want to share, then put it out there. If you think it's worth putting in a book, send it to publishers. You will get rejected. I will tell you that right now, you WILL get rejected. And rejected a lot. But in being rejected you will learn. And in learning you will become better. Eventually, you will be accepted, if you work for it.


If you dream it to paint and draw, do it. Just DO it. When you produce something you want to share, then share it. Maybe someone will buy it, most likely they won't. But by putting it OUT THERE, you will learn. And in learning you will become better, if you work for it.


And a final PS, don't let stupid crap stand in the way of your dream. Life is work. Life is pain. You are going to have to deal with a lot of crap in the course of your life. But crap shouldn't define you and the person you are. Be the person you dream yourself to be, even when you don't feel it. Push the stupid life stuff out of the way and work on your dream. Yes, you still have to deal with it, but that doesn't mean you should let it keep you from dreaming.

July news and such.

Om nom nom.

So, here it is, July already. I've been really poor at blogging. I say that every month, and I know I need to share more, but I know you understand.

For the most part, no news is good news. We haven't had any catastrophes (knock on wood) and there haven't been any major changes in my health. Anna's busy with school and tutoring. So pretty much smooth sailing lately.

This jeep is COOL!

My health does continue to be an issue, but while it continues it's slow, downhill, movement, there haven't been any major "leaps" in "badness". So I guess that is good, right?

School is coming up really fast. The kids go back on the 15th of August. That seems really early to me. Especially in this part of the country where summers are so brutal. But I guess they have good air conditioning. I remember when I was in school, the only room in the whole building that had AC was the principal's office.

July 4.

We've already done a lot of back to school shopping. I think the kids are set as far as clothes. We stocked up on a lot of the pencils and paper and all that kind of stuff they will need. We got their supply lists from the website and it looks like we're pretty much good to go. I can't believe all the stuff they have to get these days. It's like each kid has to fully stock the classroom. And they're not allowed to label anything so it's not like this is "Mr. A's" glue bottle. It belongs to the class. I don't like it, but I guess that's how things go.

The Lego robodog.
It eats and poops.

We are trying really really REALLY hard to plan a road trip next month before school starts. I haven't said anything to anyone because I didn't want to get their hopes up of seeing us and then we not be able to make it. We're pinching pennies, planning routes, figuring out if we can sleep in the van. Our main purpose for going is to see our grand baby. In case you hadn't heard, he was born in May, so he'll be three months old before we get there. I can't promise we will get to see everyone on this trip. We'll only be there a couple of days. That's how it has to work out this time around. The college summer session ends on the 5th and the kids go back on the 15th, so we need a day or two at the end for them to rest up, so that cuts it back to the 12th. Then two days driving on each side leaves us from the 7th to the 10th that we'll be there.

Sheep head.

Here's a few more picture just for fun. Enjoy.

Grouchy face after
the pretty hair
exploded.

Miss G and friends
doing a special at
church.

Self portrait during VBS.

Miss D with face paint,
just for fun.

Miss G, extreme closeup.

Another month, again. And again.

Jazz Band

Is it really the end of March already? The year is going so fast. The schedules this semester have been insane and all we're doing is running and running and running. Well, everyone else is, I'm sitting here with a confused and lonely look on my face as everyone runs past me.

In less than 2 months, our third child graduates high school. Shortly after that, we'll have our first grandchild. Then, in the fall, one of our youngest starts Kindergarten. That is a level of insanity that only those with large families will understand. Not to mention college planning and packing and moving, summer jobs, Senior pictures and announcements and on and on and on....

Barbie Cupcakes for a 20th birthday
celebration.

But we do what we do because we love it and wouldn't have it any other way. So this weekend we're praying for good weather to get the Senior pictures done, then we'll make the announcements and have the computer print the envelopes. While we're out, we'll try to get a tux for the prom, run any errands we have to do at Wal-Mart and wherever else... multitasking, it's just how it is.

When people find out we have so many kids, there's two questions the inevitably ask (at least in this part of the country). The first is "Are you Mormon or Catholic?" and the second is "How do you do it?" The answer to the first is, of course, "neither". The answer to the second is "Just keep moving". Yes, if you look at the details, it looks hard. Especially when I am disabled and can't work, my wife is working part time and going to school full time and our finances are scary to say the least. But step back and look at the big picture. We have clothes on our backs, food in our stomachs, and a roof over our heads. The rest is luxury. And we have many luxuries.Others might not see it that way, but compared to 99.9% of the world, we're insanely blessed.

First Jr. Band concert. Lots
of nerves.

The trumpet. It's loud.

I do think, however, we need to find a moment to breathe. While we love having a big family, there does come a point where the stress level is in the red. Not just in the red, but breaking the scale. We need to find a vent, a release valve. As a couple, my dear wife and I need to find a time and place we can be grown ups in love. As parents we need to find a time and place we can enjoy our children without worrying about getting this or that or running here and there. I don't know what that should be, but we need to find it. Soon.

I'm still on the downward slope, health-wise. Though it is slower. Still trying to get in with the neurologist. No matter how many times I call, I just get the voicemail and they never return my calls. Frustrating. But I seriously think that I"m at a point where everyone is throwing up their hands and saying "we don't know what do to, sorry, go off somewhere and die". But maybe now that I have insurance, that will make a difference.

Speaking of insurance, it's is a huge blessing. My meds run about $500 a month. We went to get refills and the bill, with the insurance, was $5. That's 1% of what we were spending. And on top of that, they gave us 3 months worth. So if you do that math, we spent a third of a percent. That's unbelievable.

What else can I rant about? Well, all our school age kids are on the honor role. Our sixth grader had a book of poetry published. They're doing standardized testing this week, so everyone is bored bored bored. 

Star Wars cake. With ninjas.

The weather has been miserable. The wind is tearing up our house. I need to get some pictures and file a claim on our home-owner insurance to get it fixed before it gets worse.I wish we had a wind turbine because with all this wind it would generate enough electricity to power us for a year.

Well, that's enough rambling. Have a happy.

Gorilla. Eating poo.

A few things. I may get off on a rant.

I've been trying something new. I'm trying to use Tumblr, another blog service, to feed a daily photo to this blog. I'm not super fond of the way I have to do it, but it's working. I know I could do the same thing with Blogger, but Tumblr makes it super easy and super super fast to line them up. I can crank out a whole year's worth in no time.

If you're interested, you can see our Tumblr at ourdailyphoto.tumblr.com. I'm going to drop an occasional video and quote and other stuff in there now and then.

Almost all our photos, if you like any of them, are on our Wal-Mart photo account. I set that up so family far away could access the photos and have them printed if they so choose. You can find that here. I've tried other photo sharing options, but I have so many, none of them have the space I need. Wal-Mart is the only place that lets me store them and share them.

Onward and upward.

So, how have we been lately? Well, if you had asked me a few days ago I would have said blah, blah, blah, having a bad week, kids blah blah blah and so forth like I usually do. But now, I'm really really not doing so well.

My grandfather, one of my most favorite people ever, passed away Tuesday night. He had been having trouble breathing, but they thought they had that fixed. He had literally just moved into the nursing home. Literally, just that afternoon. Finally in a place where he could rest, relax and have others take care of him. But he laid down for a nap or something and just drifted away.

In my other blog, I'm on a angry, guilt ridden rant. So on this one I want to be positive and share good memories and pictures and stuff. So bear with me because I'm probably going to talk a lot the next few days.

I remember when I was little, going to my grandparent's house was a highlight of my week. I don't honestly remember if we went every week, but we went a lot. Less as I got older, but often enough that a big part of my childhood memories are in that house.

When we were real little, my grandfather liked to take home movies. This was in the days before video cameras. He had a film camera and he had to use these big, bright lights. If he wasn't taking videos, he was showing them.

My grandfather and I never really talked much one on one. I don't remember him doing that much with anyone. What he did seem to like is having a house full of people. With his kids and his kids' kids, it didn't take much to fill the house. He liked to barbecue burgers when the weather was nice. Order Valentino's pizza or KFC is it wasn't. He played cards. All the time. If there was enough people, there was always a card game going on. I don't remember what game it was. I do remember trying to learn so I could play, but I just couldn't get the hang of it.

He liked college football. Especially Notre Dame. If there was a game on, the TV was playing it. Heaven forbid Nebraska and Notre Dame were on at the same time on different channels, because Husker fans were going to miss it.

When I got married, he was very supportive. One of the few times I had a real conversation with him was with my wife (or were we not married yet, I don't remember.) It was just us at his house and we got to talking about money. I don't know how we got on the subject, but he just seemed excited to share with us everything he had learned in his life about handling money and checks and credit and everything. He just poured it out. That was one of my best days. It was the first time anyone had had a real, adult conversation with me on their level and not talking down to me.

There's so much of the holidays, all holidays, that are intertwined with memories of my grandfather. Christmases, Easters, Independence Days, on and on. When I was younger, the family LIKED being together. They LIKED having holidays together. And we had them ALL together.  And my grandparents were the center than held everyone together.

I'm off on a rant now. I knew I would. I'll cut it off here, but there's more to come.

How y'all doing?

Thought I'd write a quick little thingy here, just because I haven't done so in a while. Not a whole lot to say, really. School is in full swing, has been for about 6 weeks now. Summer finally broke and the temperatures are near bearable. House is still a mess, toddlers are still toddling. And life pretty much goes on as it has for the last couple of years.

We're in a good pattern, I think. I mean, things could always be better, but we just kind of chug along and get by. Yea, it would be nice to have a few expensive toys, but we already have some and don't need them, so why get more? The stuff we have is working fine. When it breaks beyond repair, we'll look at spending the money on a new one.

November is coming up fast. If you don't already know, and I imagine you do because there's only about 5 people that read this, we have a wedding coming up. We are in severe crunch time now. Lots of stress. Lots and lots of stress. But the hall is rented, the preacher is hired, and the dress is bought. Except for the license, it's done. Now, whether there will be any guests or not, that's another story...

Saw the doctor today. He's happy that I lost 30 pounds. Now if we can just fix my brain.

Not much else to say right now. What's up with you?

July Update

Howdy, y'all. Wow, it's been a crazy summer already and it's not even half over. Well, maybe about half, but as busy as it's been, we've got more busy-ness coming up!

In case you haven't heard, my Social Security was finally approved. Which is good, but it doesn't really change things. All my back pay goes to the insurance company that has been paying my disability insurance for the last three years. It's called "over payment" and it's totally legal. So in the end nothing really changes as far as us having any extra money. But one awesome thing is that I am now on medicaid. We've been putting off seeing any more specialists and doing any more tests because I didn't have any coverage at all, everything was out of pocket. Now we can start taking care of some of this stuff again. Probably the biggest thing will be my prescription coverage. We usually spend about $500 a month on my meds right now. With their plan, we will pay about $150. That's a lot.

I've been trying to stay up to date on posting all the pictures. That is pretty much what we've been doing so far this summer. We're trying to squeeze all our pennies to get to go to Anna's sister's wedding the first of August. We'd like to make a whole vacation out of it, but I don't know if we will pull it off. We'll see.

Miss D is with her Gma and Gpa for the summer. I haven't heard much from her (I haven't really asked either) so she must be having a good time!

That's about all for now. I hope to get my video sorted and edited soon, so maybe I'll have some to post in the coming days.

not a lot right now

Hiyas.

Not a lot to say on here right now. I didn't do a December update and I'm not going to do a January one (unless you count this) because there's really not a lot to tell you. Nothing much has changed in the last couple of months. School and work and all that stuff is the same. My disability case is still pending, my health has not improved and everything is about the same.

I am working on some home videos. I finished 2008 and am working on getting 2009 done while I am in the swing of things. Once I get them all edited and such I plan on breaking them into YouTube sized chunks and posing them here. They will be set to private, though, so if you're not on my YouTube friends list, then let me know, I'll hook you up.

That's all for now. Videos coming!

September stuff

I try to post a little news thing every month just to keep everyone filled in on the haps with us. I really don't have anything to say this month, things really haven't changed much since last month. School has started, but that's about it. Of course one of the kids is off to college, but I've already written about that.

What else can I tell you? Social Security is still on hold. I did have a hearing scheduled, but I was able to get a pro-bono lawyer and he needed more time to get things done for us, so we asked for the hearing to be rescheduled and it was. The date hasn't been reset yet, but it's on "the list".

Our vehicles continue to run nicely. The speedometer went out on Bob The Big White Van. We asked the guy that helped us fix the transmission and he said to just take it back to his shop, the cable was probably undone accidentally when they fixed the transmission. Since we only drive it on Sundays it's not that big of a deal, so we'll get it in when we can.

So life goes on pretty much as normal. Dogs, diapers, and potty training. And me just getting by.

Jon & Kate plus 8, Octomom and others who think they "deserve" it.

Or

Raising a family of 10 on less than $3000 per year per person.

Normally, I would put a rant like this on my other blog, saving this one for news about the kids, cute pictures, things like that. But today I've blown a fuse and I've had enough. If I hear one more thing about "The Goslins" or "Ocotomom" and their multi-million dollar reality TV deals (and worse, their whining about how they couldn't survive without it) then I'm going postal.

I have a large family. There are quite a few of us out there that do. There are a very small percentage of us are insane enough to take fertility treatments to have large multiple births - they are the crazy ones, the fringe. The rest of us may or may not have planned to have large families but we do. In our case, we didn't plan. Mind you, none of our kids are unwanted, but we never set out saying "let's have 8 kids and no money". There are others that criticize us for being irresponsible, for overpopulating the world, for using more than our share and so on. And there's something to be said for that. But in our case, even with preventative measures in place, God exercised his sense of humor and blessed us with a large family.

We've always struggled - well, struggle isn't really the right word, maybe "manage" - we've always managed on a fairly small income relative to how many of us there are. Except for a brief time (pre-9/11/01) when the economy was soaring and I was able to secure a computer programming position, we've always ALWAYS lived on about $3000 a year per person. And not just survived, but we've managed to have some luxuries. We've had to ask for help from time to time, sometimes getting by on a prayer and the kindness of others, but we've never gone around with our hand out, demanding from others what we didn't truly deserve.

Enter reality TV.

We don't have cable or satellite TV. That's one thing we do without. Partially out of financial frugality, but mostly because we honestly feel it's not worth it. The cost to our family from the amount of garbage that would be streaming in far outweighs any benefit. Because we only get like three channels, I have never seen Jon & Kate Plus 8 or any of the other reality shows that are out there about large families. But I've heard about them. Too much. In our entertainment saturated society, the break up of Jon and Kate made NATIONAL news. As did reports that Nadya Suleman, known as the "Octomom" was being offered a multi-million dollar reality show. Then came the reports that both shows were in jeapardy. Jon and Kate's show because they broke up and Octomom's show because nobody really cares. THEN came the outcry from both of them whining because "how are we going to take care of our kids!" Seriously. Google them, you can follow the whole shebang of both stories.

I have 8 kids. I know many others who have large families as well, and none of us walk around like the world owes us. One of my good friends from Colorado has 6 kids and they run a pretty successful carpet cleaning business. One of my friends from down here has 5 kids, she doesn't do as well, but she does what she has to to get by. Those of you who follow my blogs know that I am disabled (hopefully not forever) and we survive on disability insurance while my wife goes back to school to make a better life for us in the near future.

$3000 a year per person. Except for a brief time when we lived in Colorado and spent way too much on a rented townhouse, we've always gotten by on that. (Coincidentally, if take out that house payment we got by on about that during that time too!) Never have we felt like we DESERVED more. Never did we go around with our hands out saying "look at us, there's so many of us, we need more more more just to survive!" Yes, we've accepted help when it was offered. Yes, we've made use of public assistance programs that are available, but never, ever did we stomp our feet, clench our fists, and demand that the world take care of us, like just because we have a lot of kids we were somehow more deserving than the rest of the world.

I don't understand the mentality of these reality show "stars". What did they do before they had TV shows? What did they do for money? I'll tell you what they did. They did what the rest of us do: WORK and GET BY WITH LESS. Yes, it can be done, and done comfortably. Sure we go to a lot of garage sales and buy some of our clothes from the Dollar Store. We don't have a big screen TV (but the one in the living room is big enough!), we don't have an Xbox (but we do have a Wii!) we don't have cable or satellite (but we do have Netflix!) we don't order pizza a lot (but we do get take and bake!) we don't go to McDonald's or Sonic very much (but we make some awesome bacon cheeseburgers here at home!) but guess what? We are healthy, comfortable, and happy.

So let's do these reality "stars" a favor and boycott their shows. They will be much happier living in the real world and earning a living like those of us who live in the REAL reality.

Just popped in to say...

... that there's nothing to say. Now a whole lot going on lately. Everyone is just kind of hot and stressed and tired. Such is life in New Mexico.

Been having a bad day. Usually a bad day is followed by several more, so send up some prayers for me.

End of April ramblings

I wish I had some great outstanding news, like they found a pill for what ails me and I'm cured and am able to go back to work and I found a job doing something with computers and I make a million dollars a year and all is right with the world.

But I don't.

As for my health, nothing has changed, in fact I continue my continued downward slide, though for now it seems to be a bit slower and I have had some good days. Without insurance, it's become impossible to follow any leads with any new specialists or anything. However, my primary care did give us a suggestion. (Did I mention this before? I don't know.) He said we should check with the University hospital in Albuquerque and see if I can get into the residency program there. I would be seen by just about every student doctor that would want to look at me and they'll do new MRIs and spinal taps and all that stuff. The catch is, I can't just show up, I have to jump through all the red tape hoops and do it on their schedule. I might be a year or more before something happens. If then. But at least it's better than doing nothing, which is all we can do right now.

We are in the last few weeks of the school year. Mr. D. just left today at noon for his band trip. They are driving as far as Flagstaff today, the rest of the way to LA tomorrow. The band does their thing on Saturday morning, the rest of the day they get to run amok at Six Flags, then they drive back Sunday and Monday. Some stupid rule from the bus driver union doesn't let them have a second driver to be able to drive straight through (unless they FLEW the driver to the relief point and FLEW the other back - and then did the same on the homeward trip - really amazingly stupid.) But, then again, a bus full of high school boys and girls - he'll have the time of his life. Especially when he has a crush on more than one of the girls in the percussion section.

Now we get to concentrate on graduation. We haven't even gotten the invitations done yet! We did finally confirm that we can use the church for the party. It's a little inconvenient for the few that are coming from Bloomfield, but since most of the local folks we are inviting live in Farmington anyway - and most in the neighborhood of the church - it works out better all the way around.

The college girls are almost done with the semester. Most of the finals are this week and next. In fact, I think they are doing some right now. I'm looking forward to the summer break. I think they'll both be way less stressed.

I'd really like some chocolate chip cookies.

Spring Break part 2

So they took the permanent jobs. Which is good, on the one hand, but with neither of them being licensed drivers and only one running vehicle between the 10 of us, on the other not so good.

The good news is, we got our tax refund. It just might be enough to finally fix the big white van. We also have a little 91 Subaru that the clutch is burned out on. The guy we bought it from at our church said he wants to fix it for us. We went through the whole "politely refuse" thing, but in all honesty we really need his help. The parts are cheap, but labor is outrageous. (We actually did have it in the shop, but the guy never fixed it, then he went out of business and disappeared and the car was locked in his shop for most of a year.... really long story, but we got it home and now it will live again.)

So, if we can get those two running, maybe we can make this work. I want it to work.

But on the other hand I'd also like to go get that 42" HDTV, a PS3, that hi-def video camera I saw.....

But on the other hand (third?), in the immortal words of one of the wisest men I know - Spock from Star Trek - "After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

New Year, new good intentions.

It's 2009. Not sure how that happened, but here we are. I remember being in 4th grade about 30 years ago and Mrs. Rasmusin (doubt that's spelled right, but I'm sure she's looking down from Heaven more worried about whether I remember the Louisiana Purchase than how to spell her name) was telling us that by now we'd have flying cars and rocket packs. Where's my rocket pack?

No matter. It's a new year. One of my good intentions (I hesitate to use the word "resolutions", it seems so... resolute) is to be a better communicator this year. And I don't mean in the generic "post a blog and hope you read it", but in a real personal way. I'll still use the blogs, don't get me wrong, it's the most fun way to share pictures and stuff, but for those closest to me I really truly plan on being much more personal. Much more real.

There's a lot I don't share. Really, you say, 'cuz it seems like your whole life is out there. Well, yeah, kinda, but when it comes to the really personal stuff, like a true answer to "how are you today?", I kinda keep things closer to the chest, especially with those closest to me, because a) you really don't want me dumping on you, 2) I don't want you to worry, and d)it would get really annoying after a while. However, for those who really want to know, I'll try to be more honest.

I've found that Facebook is a good "hub" for me to connect with people. I can share things on that casual "hey, hows it goin'" level, but also converse on a deeper level if I so chose without broadcasting to everyone. I also have the blogs linked in through there so those who really want to know can see that there's a new post out there. I've even found some old schoolmates from good ol' Dorchester, people who I spent 13 years of my life with, then never spoke to again, until now. Kinda cool. Do a search for me by name, if you're on it, and you'll find me.

Anyway, that's my number one good intention for the year. Feel free to smack me around if I don't stick to it.

A new year update

So it's 2009. Not sure how that happened, but here we are. Today is the 5th, it was supposed to be the first day back to school after what I feel was a very long break, but alas it snowed last night, about 6 inches, and I stuck in the asylum for another day.

We're not off to a good start. We now have three broken down vehicles and the only one we have running doesn't have heat. We're hoping that with a decent tax rebate we can get them fixed, but I don't know.

Miss C graduates this year, in about 5 1/2 months. She's already been accepted to several colleges and we're encouraging her to apply to many others. Her grades are the tops so she could really write her own ticket to where ever she wants to go.

Miss T is going back to school after a semester off. I'm hoping and praying that she doesn't have the issues she had last time.

The Mrs is also back to school. After many years and much encouragement I finally convinced her to just do it. She basically aced her first semester, so I'm not too worried.

Mr D got himself a girlfriend and has become obsessed. The only issue is that she is friends with Miss C, so there are times the girls want to hang out and he gets upset that he's not invited.

Miss D, Mr I and Miss G continue to be the tops of their classes. We were concerned when we put them back in public school last year after homeschooling for so long, but after a brief adjustment period, they proved that we did right when we were homeschooling. The all are way above their classes in reading level, math skills, and all that.

As for me, well, Christmas break has been hard on me. I don't know if it's the weather or what, but my pain level, which on good days is about a 5, has been peaked out at about 9 for the last several days.

The new year brings challenges. My disability runs out in about 8 months and if I don't find a way that I can work or get Social Security, we're going to be hurting big time. The issue is that I haven't really gotten any better in any way and in many ways have gotten worse. I still can't drive, I still have black outs, and I still get screaming migraines almost every day. We're trying to figure out ways I can do things from home, but even then it's hard to commit myself to something that has a deadline when I don't know when I'll be able to work on things from minute to minute.

That's all for now. Happy New Year. Don't drink and drive and all that junk.

REGISTER NOW!

For anyone in New Mexico, the voter registration deadline is TOMORROW! This is an important election and you MUST vote! DO IT! DO IT NAOUGHW!