Well, we finally did it. We killed our van. I knew it was coming, the stupid thing has almost 200K miles on it and had been coughing and barfing for while. But gosh darn it, couldn't it wait another few months? We had been talking about replacing it with our income tax refund, but now it can't wait. Now we have no way to get anywhere. I still have my little car for work, but it will only hold three other people.
I really hate this. It seems like the harder I work, the harder it is to get ahead. We've been working for years now to get and keep caught up and even trying to put some back for times like this, but we can't ever seem to get anywhere. Even getting further behind. Why do we have to live like this? Why are others allowed to prosper, but we have to struggle?
Maybe it's time to give up and move home. I'm a failure as a man, as a husband, as a father. I can't take care of my own family. At least back in Iowa/Nebraska, Anna and the kids can be near parents/grandparents. We won't be any better off, but at least there's family there.
I don't know what to do any more....
