Monday, September 10, 2012


I keep starting posts and then something else happens and I never finish them.

Most of you that would read this know everything that is going on anyway via facebook and just life, so do I really need to share news here?

I feel that the 'newsletter' format for this blog is out of date, since news is now shared in 'flashes' over on facebook. That's also where all the pictures and everything are.

I think it's time to take this blog back to it's original purpose: an online journal.

There was a time that this was my only blog. Actually, in the beginning, it wasn't even called a 'blog', although that's what I was doing. I wrote my first post in what would later become this blog in 1994 or there abouts. The Internet was still young, digital cameras were basically non-existent, at least from a consumer perspective, had been married for only 6 years but already had 3 children.

Those very early attempts at an online diary have been lost in the mists of time. Some are probably still floating around in AOL's servers, some were in the 'personal web space' offered by our hometown service provider back in the day, others vanished with Earthlink.

In 2004 I made this blog official. At one point I had imported some older posts from other sources, but over the course of time, things got dropped, deleted, lost... But I'm sitting here looking at the first post that still exists - from May 2004, and am amazed that that was 8 years ago. Older than some of my children.

It amazes me even more how much of my blog was written after I became unable to work. Has it really been that many years? And years? So much of that time is just lost to me. I have no memory of some of the events I've written about. I can't blame myself for that, I know it's caused by whatever is going on in my brain, but still I feel guilty - it's like my kids' lives are passing me by and I'm missing all of it.

As I write this, my youngest son is in his 3rd week of first grade, my youngest child is in her second week of preschool, my second grandchild is a week old, my eldest child just moved, with my first grandchild, and is currently out of touch (which really freaks me out!) My eldest son is finishing his second year of college, he, my second eldest, and my wife will all graduate this May.

And what have I done? What have I accomplished in all this time? What have I produced? An odd bit of writing here, some photoshopped thingies there, nothing substantial. Nothing I can plant a flag in and claim as mine. When I first became unable to work, I vowed that I would DO something, that I would PRODUCE something. A book. A work of art. Something. So far I haven't done that. I'm not sure I know how.

But now I'm just having a pity party. My point was, going forward, this blog will be less a news letter and more of a journal or diary about thoughts and feelings. Still lots of pictures. Still some fun. Just less repetition of what you're already seeing on facebook.